i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
