i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
