can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
