Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
