My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
