i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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