New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize