I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
