so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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