i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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