Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
