k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
