somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
