Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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