I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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