Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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