i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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