just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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