i permit you to call me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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