im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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