I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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