I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
