the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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