Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
