no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
