Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
