fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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