I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
