What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
