You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've blown a few things in my day
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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