to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
