dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
