Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I AM VODKA MAN
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
