no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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