OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
