I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
