I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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