so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
