She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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