is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
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