please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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