My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
