some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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