I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
