i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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