You're completely useless in the revolution.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is the high leading the old right now
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
