i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
