wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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