so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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