Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
