I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
