I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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