WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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