Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im six kinds of drunk right now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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