he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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